I don't want this to hurt our marriage." Don't worry, it won't. It'll make our marriage even better," I assured her. But inside I was pissed. How could Ralph not have condoms ready, after I explicitly told him that Jen wasn't on birth control?Later that night, after Jen had fallen asleep, I got up and went downstairs. I couldn't wait until the morning, I needed to talk to Ralph. As soon as he picked up the phone, I laid into him. "Ralph, what happened to the condoms?"He must have been expecting my call, because he didn't miss a beat. "Mike, I'm sorry, but I just ran out." How did you run out? I mean, you guys only did it once on Wednesday night!" Mike, I don't know what Jen told you. But we had sex all week long. I mean, those tips you gave me worked. We had sex Monday, and it didn't stop until earlier this evening."I was in shock. Jen told me they had only had sex once, on Wednesday. Had she lied to me? It couldn't be. Then I remembered that Jen had taken a shower just before I had. Farther than ever. I sensed her pain. I shared her loss. And I felt a distance that I had little hope of breaching again.Later in my room and I heard the two of them talking in hushed tones. Mom was crying softly.My stepdad spoke in a consoling manner I'd never heard him use. "His soul will be protected, I know it will," he said."But, Tony, I was unconscious," my mother softly cried. "No one knew to baptize the child. It'll be in limbo forever." There, now," he kept saying.The incident had changed the way my stepdad generally treated Mom. But it did nothing to quiet my anger nor smooth the raw feeling I had of not being part of the household I lived in. I was disgusted with the way he'd ignored her pain for weeks until the result was disaster and heartbreak. I was glad he'd had a comeuppance and that he'd earned it the hard way. And I knew that my mother's rigid religious fervor meant that I would never be able to share with her my blasphemous ideas or my certainty that answers to.
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